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Due to Fear of Punishment

Hidden Resilience:

Determination & Creativity

Is learned when:

  • Reality is not allowed to be real.

  • The truth is what you need it to be to get the job done.

The drive behind the behavior:

Fear of punishment.

Steps to take to meet those needs:

  1. Get to know your beliefs about lying.

    • Underneath our response to being lied to is an implicit belief… that truth is something that is either earned or owed. 

    • Know which belief you hold or when someone lies to you, that belief will drive your actions without you knowing it.

  2. Help people identify safe people to ask.

  3. Develop with them the words to tell what really happened.

  4. Practice saying what happened with them.

  5. Then, highlight that they are still safe.


(NOTE: This process often needs to be repeated 6 or 7 times so that a new neuropathway for it being safe enough to tell the truth can begin to grow.)

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